First of all, I hope you all had a lovely week. I sure did but the week just seems to be running too quickly. Just like magic it's Friday and nearly the end of February, before you know it it'll March and we'll be doing that "Happy new Month" thing all over again. All in all its closer to Spring and away from this monstrosity called "Winter".
And so it happened that sometime this week I was watching YouTube yet again. Yes! I hear all ye judgemental people. I was watching a video that discussed familiarities about African mums regardless of their nationalities, which made me giggle so hard because I could relate on so many level. Growing up with an African mother myself, I can say there is nothing more terrifying than the fear that is instilled in you as a child other than that of your African mother. I will give credit where it's due because it has really upped my morale in life, however, in the same breath I will say that it was not a joking sturvs at the point it was taking place.... Walahi!
We all know that saying that goes "The Fear of God is the Beginning of Wisdom",
"The fear of an African mother is the beginning of a lot of a life skills". I mean insert any skill, is it obedience, good public conduct, orderliness, cleanliness, or sometimes even common sense. They've got it on lock down. At a point in my life, I believed that there must've been a training school of some sort for all African Mums, because there was no way that they all talked and acted alike that caused us to all share the same experiences as children.
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I'm just going to share some of them that I can relate with,
Here goes:
- The Fear of an African Mother is the beginning of Obedience, when you have to think long and hard about the response you'll get when you want to go that friend's house to play or sleep over before you even consider asking her. Because you know the response will fall along the lines of "How many times have they visited or slept over at your house?" but still you remain hopeful. Or when you have to think twice before leaving that plate on the table or in the sink after eating because you know you'll be woken up in the middle of the night to clear it up or it'll be on your bedroom doorstep the next day.
- The Fear of an African Mother is the beginning of Contrition and Penance when you misbehave publicly or come home later than you were told and automatically know you're in the dungeons. So you proceed to resume your punishment before you even get home, and receive the rest on your return. Or when you apologise for your misconduct she replies you with "Sorry for Yourself" with that stern look. This one pains me till today,because of the way they respond like they couldn't care less for your apology. Like, it has no value, like, you're just a tomfool.
- The Fear of an African Mother is the beginning of Uncommon Paranoia when awestruck fear that not only washes over you but your friends when she enters the room. Causing the mood automatically change, so much so that you catch yourself acting all sorts of awkward. Not because you're doing anything wrong, but because she's just got that Unapologetic African Mum thing going on.
-The Fear of an African Mother is the beginning of Good Public Conduct when go out with her and you have to put on your "goodie-two-shoes" hat because you know if you fall out of line, you're in deep pepper-soup. Or when you go visiting to Aunt Karachi or Uncle Femi's house and get asked if you'll have some of whatever is being served and you have to lookout for the signal of approval/ disapproval before you give your response.Or when you go to the shops with her and see something you want and proceed to ask with "Mummy... can I have...", but she doesn't even let you finish asking but cuts you off with " Can you have what?!", so you just backtrack your sentence with that fearful "Nothing" and keep it moving.
-The Fear of an African Mother is the beginning of Humility and Respect when you think you're grown and you try "Adulting" in her presence. But, you're quickly humbled by the statement "Am I your mate?" that quickly helps you mentally reassess yourself and respond accordingly with the usual "No Ma", but before you know it, it quickly escalates to beatings or hot slaps that resets your brain and causes you to defend yourself or dodge.And in the process further aggravates your African mother because she thinks you're trying to fight back, so she proceeds to question you "...you want to fight me?". But you don't have the liver to respond so you just lay there and collect whatever it is you're being humbled with.
Are there any you can relate to?
What life skills has the fear of an African Mum taught you?
Share you thoughts...
Xoxo
Mena
