"I'm single, because I take relationships seriously!"- Lekeisha
I've come to understand through observation that we live in a society where being "Single" is no longer a normal occurrence.
Constantly, when the topic of relationships and the phrase "Why are you not in a relationship" arises I brace myself, ready to give answers to whoever is willing to give me a tough time.
Couple of years ago, and this was a good number of years let's say 4 years when I was about 16, and I would never forget this. A friend's sister asked me "So, why are you still single?, you're so pretty". I was taken aback and in a state of utter confusion and shock. Was I not meant to be single because I was pretty? or was it mandatory that all pretty girls have boyfriends?.
Besides I was SIXTEEN!!! what was I doing with a boyfriend!, in the context she was putting it, kiss,hold hands,hang out. Err... I think not!, not with the mother that I have, you better be saying your last prayers if she as much as sees you feeling flirty or frisky with the opposite sex, all the 101 questions you will rather avoid, will start flying out the door
So who is he?
What is his name?
Where is he from?
Who are his parents?
Where did you meet? ......e.t.c
Besides, I have my sisters and family for that, they show me enough love, affection, care and consideration, why should I depend on the opposite sex for that at such a young age and expose myself to all the mental and emotional drama of break-ups and heart break( ain't nobody got time for that). I mean don't get me wrong, if individuals want to be in relationships at a young age and are mentally mature and prepared to take up all that drama, then please go right ahead. As for me, I know it wouldn't have worked out.
Don't get me wrong, I did once date a boy but I wouldn't even classify it a "relationship" because no relations occurred, he was pretty much friend-zoned before he asked me out and because I was young and naive and not wanting to spoil the friendship and cause awkwardness, I said OK!, it was still pretty much a friendship just with a boyfriend TAG attached, so when we had to part ways it wasn't harmful, and everything went back to us just being friends, and we still are friends.
In college, I was the friend who constantly hung out with her friends and their boyfriend's or male interests, No lie! it felt awkward sometimes but then, when they were having problems in their relationship I'm always the friend they come to vent to( I swear I should've been charging for all that free comforting). Anywhoo, at times like these I was glad I didn't have to deal with such drama in my own personal life. Time and time again, I see girls crying over one boy or the other, or hear stories of some girl locking herself up in her room because somebody broke her heart( Are you a learner?!, stop that nonsensical behaviour).
I have also come to find out that some girls and boys alike are major "SERIAL DATERS".... like dang!, they cannot be without a boyfriend or a girlfriend, "Winter boo for the Cuffing season(The cold time of the year and prolonged indoor activity causing singles become desperate and lonely, and desiring to be cuffed), and the summer "link"( A term used generally in the UK, for when a boy and girl are talking to each other a lot and it its obvious that they'll be going out soon in the summer time)", recycling partners every six months, surely, falling in and out of love isn't that quick. You can't "fancy" me today and six months later the love has worn off.
Conversing with my many other contributors in my mind, I ask this one question, "What is the point of being with someone at a very young age if you are not ready to be committed?". Think of me as an old soul, but it's just the way it is. If I started dating at 16, by the time I'm 25 how many boyfriends will I have had?, how many people would I given away a part of me to? what would be left for my future husband to have and to hold, love and cherish? Very little I must say.
Another thing that crossed my mind, Am I willing to share my time with somebody else now? Knowing myself I would want to explore many things on my own and grow to know me and love me before having to share with my time, it sounds selfish I know, but what's are those famous quotes:
Exceptions would only made when it is for the the important stuff. Hence, God, Family, friends, work and school for now, every other things after that will have to pass the high priority exam, except a gentleman comes into my life and turns my head upside down and inside out that'll have me saying to my mother "But Mum!, I LOVE HIM". Until then, Adios!. Mistake me not, I will go out on dates with guys, after all it is necessary for getting to know others of the opposite sex and comparing compatibility,however don't expect because you say you "fancy" me, you would expect me to jump right into a relationship with you, if you haven't thought hard and long for wanting to be in this for the long run.... Mate! keep it moving, because I do the same all the time. Yes! you might say I'm frigid but the truth is I refuse to set myself up for heartbreak, if it happens all well and good, but I will not put myself in the line of fire( when I'm not Bruno Mars). To answer the number of people still asking,"So Efe, why are you still single?!", let me answer you now, open your ears wellah!, I'm single because I take relationships seriously", Lekeisha whoever and wherever you are, God bless your soul because I couldn't have said it any better myself, if I'm loving, I'm loving for the long run, till death do us part boo boo. And not to sound like a Sister Mary, but it's true I would rather spend my single days knowing Christ, because I know for a fact he isn't going to break my heart, not like some joker out there trying to say anything just to get the cookie jar, it baffles me sometimes the lyrics you hear boys/men of nowadays dropping, in fact enh! if awards were being handed out for these kind of lines, some people will be taking GRAMMYS every year.
Being single is not a DISEASE people, learn to love and enjoy your own company, take yourself out, speak to yourself on a daily basis, know what you like, what you can tolerate and what you will absolutely not even give chance to.And you'll find out that when the time comes for you to spend the rest of your life with someone else it wouldn't be a struggle loving them.
Spread the Love.xx
Musing over, and I'm out!
XOXO
Mena.xx
