Shenanigans in the Week

Hey Guys!, so I've been away for a quick minute, solely because I have had nothing to say really, but I'm back back back! Back again again again!!! 


So what's been going on you might ask, well let's see, since my last post I've been up to the sisters casa to spend a lovely valentine weekend  with my niece, who by the way is amazingly cute and was an absolute jewel on my sister date night with the hubby(  no too cry cry and shit no dey for body) she slept like a beauty, but I will say this when she shits, your nostril will not fail to notice, even if your sense of smell is not functioning properly, the whiff you get from her adult poo will tell you different, Omo! the stench is real HEAVY!!!!!!! but her cuteness forgiveth all STENCH so I can easily forget the horridness that occurs once she's all clean ad lovely again. Another discovery is her "gimme gimme attitude" with her hand stretching out for everything in sight and as far as her vocabulary is concerned every animal  is a "Birdie"  even dog sef na Birdie. 




 I will say this though coming back to London over the weekend was not on my to-do list *sigh*, as it's never is when I'm up there, Cardiff is so peaceful and also I don't have to do anything  but to just eat play and watch TV,I wish I could just tanda for dia forever!!! but as my education will not finish off itself and work won't wait, I had to brace myself and  be on my merry way back Sunday evening. In the course of being back  I've been working and just living life, can't complain too much as there's money to be made for things to get moving, unfortunately i am not a heiress neither do i  have a millionaire daddy or mummy, so therefore I can't just tanda. See how money just dey use person do yanga.

411 a.k.a gist dey,  so open your ears and listen wellah, they may not be juicy ones but manage, my life is only so exciting at times. So here I was minding  my own business, cruising through my Instagram TL and observing my environment on my journey back to London,  when this girl, let's call her Haley.  Haley got on the coach and was on her phone a.k.a GSM, gisting  her friend of how her weekend was up in Cardiff, I know this because Haley was having the conversation with the whole coach as well as her friend, speaking at the top of her lungs. Anywhoo Haley was telling her friend how her parents won't respect her privacy and how they were just going through her emails and her text messages whilst she was visiting, My Friend!, don't you know about this thing called PASSWORD? it is used to shield all your personal shenanigans from prying eyes, were my thoughts exactly but as i not fit talk am I continued my eaves dropping jejely.

 Sadly, her family's amebo lead to a very shocking discovery about their very loving and caring daughter,this was the conversation that ensued, forgive me I'm paraphrasing what I heard her say, as I no dey when the revelation occur:

Mom:  So Haley how have you been? And by the way who's Jessica, couldn't help but notice you guys talk a lot over text. 

Haley: I'm great mum, she's a friend, I'm going up to Manchester soonish 

Mom: Oh that's lovely, what for? 

Haley: To see a friend

Mom: Your boyfriend 

Haley: No mum to see Jessica, she's my girlfriend

Mom: Excuse me?! 

Haley: Yea mum, she's my girlfriend, I'm GAY! 

GBAM!!!! 

Talk about breaking headline news , long story short the mother started wailing and crying and asking if she's sure  blah blah, she came out to her whole family, even though she didn't plan to. See what amebor can cause, now she can have a lovingly open  gay relationship. This however lead me to think what will happen to me if I told my mother I was GAY!, first lemme El-Oh-El, because I know for my life it would be a different story, forget the fact that I no longer live in Nigeria,  I would easily escape 14 years jail term, but with the spiritual upbringing I have, I  would probably be showered with holy water, taken for deliverance and prayed for tremendously well that the GAY-ness in me will dry up instantly, thankfully, I'm as straight as can be. *Phew!!!* 

Lamenting on, this week I have experienced something that has left me feeling scarred, I have suffered in this life shaaaaa....

So I work in a retail store called "Boots" and just for this week just gone past I was working in a branch different to where I'm primarily based. My first day in and I was   super early, a whole one hour! can you imagine this?!, damn you TFL, the foolish people estimated one hour and ten minutes for a  forty five minute journey, not that I mind getting up early but still that's not the point of the matter, I would've stolen some more forty winks. 

So on starting my shift, I got in and introduced myself to the manager who gave me an introduction to every other member of staff in at the time, we smiled and talked and blah blah blah.... 10a.m now and  the store is open to customers, I'm serving on the tills feeling happy inside( which I have promised myself to be for the rest of the year, expect something tragic happens), a tall figure walks up to me and introduces himself as Akin, I replied the gesture introduced myself and got on with my tasks, so Akin is the security man at this store and by now you can tell he's Yoruba and a Nigerian unfortunately for Akin, he thinks because of this shared nationality he can get familiar with me, by the way for all of you judging me at this point I am not a snob, I will explain! 

 For me to enjoy my job, I like working in a happy and chirpy environment so when conversation does not flow I hate it , I can talk for Africa when I'm ready and this has become a good thing in my life when needed. It's proper early and the store is not particularly flowing with customers so Akin proceeds to make conversation and I reciprocate it, in the course of talking Akin says "You're beautiful" and I say thank you but saying that I can feel my skin crawling, I hate compliments from people I've only just met, it makes me cringe, like you don't even know me for two seconds and you already dropping compliments( I'm weird I know) but it's just another pet peeve I have, it doesn't sound genuine when people do that and half the time I'm never wrong as when I foresee the future stringing along with a compliment like that let's just say I end up not being friends with such people. 

Day one over and I'm gone, tired but happy, back to the store the next day, everything in normal working order and Akin says something to me  even more cringe worthy, this oga started calling me his queen and his princess,

which day did this one start?, why is this middle aged man trying it?!, ahn ahn, hian!!! Please ooo, I am only a little girl I have nothing to offer you!, obviously I didn't say that but my body language spoke on my behalf.

 The next day was even worse, this man as old as he looks, looked at me and now had the audacity to tell me "I want to get to know you better, can I have your number?," say what now?!. This is a man that should have had a wife and three kids waiting for him at home with dinner at the table, screaming Daddy!!!, but yet this man sees my youth and wants to come and devour it  GODFORBID!!!!. I diverted conversation and since have not spoken on the matter again. This harassment continued  over the next couple of days, the old goat proceeded to sing to me "you're beautiful it's true" and trust me his voice wasn't exactly X-factor material, more like "not on the scale at all" factor, at this point the level of irritation is reaching threshold, to now top it all off this man made comments about my hair, for those of you who don't know me I am a natural haired girl, no creamy crack or heat of any sorts, and I take great pride in my hair. So you can imagine how upset I was when this old goat now says that he doesn't like it that it looks so untidy that I should change it O my gawrdddd, see insult!, like why should I care if you don't like it, it's not like you're even an acquaintance were my thoughts exactly, I gladly replied smiling ' I don't care if you do, I like it!

 It's not even like I make comments to people when I don't appreciate certain things they wear or how horrible their make up is or how in-proportional their body is, which is the situation with this Akin man, but did I tell him, no I didn't....  I keep my  2 cents to myself, so why can't everyone else be like that ehnnn warrissit!!!!. 

 I tell you this if not for God and the respectful background and the workplace environment, his face would have seen my fingerprints, you may say I'm over reacting but I'm not! People should learn to respect how others choose to look and live their lives.For the rest of the week I boned face all through work and completely ignored every conversation he tried making, looking busy even if I was doing absolutely nothing and it worked because the oga didn't even try to near me or my till, and I am glad because he was beginning to creep me out. 

So you know how I said earlier I work in boots, well boots is a pharmaceutical store and they sell everything health based for everyone, working this week was interesting because I'm big on observing and I observed something of a particular trend, the amount of pregnancy tests and condoms and Durex play lubricant gels I put through the till this week, Omo it makes me weak, one man particularly made me giggle, he walked up to the till and placed his basket in front of me, time to put it through the till and he's looking like this

 Why so serious? I ask myself, you're about to get lucky, given the items in your basket, this man was checking out 6 happy packs of condoms but the part that made me giggle was that he purchased one pack of chewing gum with it, like Sir! there is no need to purchase the gum, we both know what you truly came for so why the deceit.I sha served him and sent him on his way.

Shenanigans over, these were the highlights of my weekend/working week, hope you all had an amazing week and weekend. I on the other hand will be trying to write up my essays this week,as I refuse to fail.

P.S: The weather is looking like SPRING is about to be around the corner, and I'm beginning to feel like exercise game needs to be knocked up  notch if I'm gonna be looking like a "Slimting" by summer. 

                                            
                                                    Cheerio
                                                      XOXO
                                                      Mena