ViNTaGe Convert

Hey my lovelies....

Hope you had a lovely weekend!
Mine was amazingly busy with work, A LOT OF WORK and deprived sleep, however I'm fully recovered now with that glorious early Sunday lie in which resulted into full blown SLEEP! that lasted till Monday morning, it kinda left me feeling H.A.P.P.Y in the A.M. Also had a mini panic attack over the weekend as  I lost my phone in my house, which I later discovered under a pile of books( Don't ask?! Sleep makes me do funny things I can't remember).

Moving on swiftly as to why this post is being made. I have a CONFESSION! to make

First Dates, Extremes and God-awful Pick-up lines Pt.1

Knock Knock...

Anybody home?! *clearing cobwebs*

 I know I  know I've been AWOL, but you know what, Annie weren't lying when she said IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE- with university and just grown-up life in general, it ain't all the beans they knock it up to be.

I hope you haven't gone far, because I have some interesting things to talk about.... 

To say the least I haven't really been feeling inspired to write for a while. Why?! because life was so hectic and well my juices weren't flowing. But that all changed on this night, the night of the 24/06/14. Chilling with the fambam ( which rarely happens as it is), but more so it was disgust rather than inspiration that birthed this post. As it were,we are all home on this fine evening watching this episode of "First Dates". 

Reminiscent of my Childhood

Hello humans........

 How's it hanging? high?, low? or dangling low....
 Has you week been busy, manic or just there, well mine has been pretty manic but hey I'm not complaining ill rather have it that way.

         So here I am at work with nothing to do sitting at my desk with a song titled "I touch myself" playing the background,don't ask me because I'm feeling the same kind of way like WTAF! is this I'm listening to.As there is nothing for me to do I have proceeded to cruise the w.w.w and see what is happening, however, this thought invades my memory and I remember coming across this post by Lola Akinmade which is seemingly old and I'm quite surprised  I hadn't  come across it earlier. Any whoo it brought a flood of memories: good, bad,the not so pretty and the hilarious.  To quickly summarise,  she talked about her life living in Lagos, her upbringing the African way and certain things she experienced as a child.Many  of the things she talked about could only make sense if you were brought up in a Nigerian household or grew up in the country itself. I catch myself nodding and giggling at my desk at work reading this post again and thinking to how eventful my childhood was,  from your parents shouting your name in chronological order from the oldest to the youngest and everyone literally dragging their feet's accompanied by mumbles under their voices or for me the angry shuffle in bed and the kicking of feet in the air before getting up, exactly like so

Weekend Bants/#RBF(Resting Bitch Face)

Hey Guys

The weekend is upon us once again and boy am i GLAD!!!!!

I wont make this a habit...... BUT! sorry I've been away.

Life has been giving me all kinds of Up's and Downs, having said that though i cannot be any more grateful for all that i have.

This past weekend has been all kinds of surprises, so much so that i nearly passed out twice, you know that kind of excitement that just makes you wanna leave your own body like.....

Weekend Events

Hello beautiful people 

How was your weekend? What did you get up to, Date? Running Errands?, Couching *inserts Lazy song* 

Well, mine was partly eventful. Saturday I was working hard for my mullah, although i would've loved to be chilling in my bed since it's the weekend, money waits for no man so I was out chasing paper. Worked myself tired until 5pm, and packed myself and my belongings back to my madam's house.

Shenanigans in the Week

Hey Guys!, so I've been away for a quick minute, solely because I have had nothing to say really, but I'm back back back! Back again again again!!! 


So what's been going on you might ask, well let's see, since my last post I've been up to the sisters casa to spend a lovely valentine weekend  with my niece, who by the way is amazingly cute and was an absolute jewel on my sister date night with the hubby(  no too cry cry and shit no dey for body) she slept like a beauty, but I will say this when she shits, your nostril will not fail to notice, even if your sense of smell is not functioning properly, the whiff you get from her adult poo will tell you different, Omo! the stench is real HEAVY!!!!!!! but her cuteness forgiveth all STENCH so I can easily forget the horridness that occurs once she's all clean ad lovely again. Another discovery is her "gimme gimme attitude" with her hand stretching out for everything in sight and as far as her vocabulary is concerned every animal  is a "Birdie"  even dog sef na Birdie. 

SERIOUS LOVE NWANTINTIN!!!

I've  been searching for my TRUE LOVE 

I have gone on my knees and I prayed to my God Above

For someone whose compatible

Who believes with God that All things are possible 

Not for long, this person came along just like we were meant to be 

And the way  our minds connects, i knew this love is real 

I'm So Happy!!!

This one na serious LOVE NWANTINTIN!!!

This kind love this kind love, wey dey make me wonder!!!

This kind love, this kind love, wey dey last forever!!!!

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU not another

This kind love ohh, na serious Love Nwantintin!!!

We have journeyed through thick  and thin 

And all of this time i realise  something 

That my friends dey envy me 

My parents  blessing me 

This is REALITY!!!! 

And i promise, i will love you for the rest of my life 

 I will always be there for you, be the very best wife

I'm so HAPPY!!! 

This one na serious LOVE NWANTINTIN!!!!!! 

This kind love this kind love, wey dey make me wonder!!!

This kind love, this kind love, wey dey last forever!!!!

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU not another

This kind love ohh, na serious Love Nwantintin!!!

- Omawunmi 

WEIGHTLOSS Wahala!!!

Losing weight has got to be my longest goal for quite a while now. I always start the journey but consistently quit after a while( to eat healthy and working out can be a mission), at least that was they way i saw it until end of last year November. 

Having not seen my brother for the longest while last year( we usually have to set appointment, he's a very busy man lol .. I joke), he came round and we went out for dinner, him, me and my  immediate elder sister. In the course of the evening we took pictures, laughed, chatted, ate some good food (Thank you Las-Iguanas, you never seem to fail me), observed our scenery,(mostly people watching and making comments...lol),this i won't forget, we saw a very bad case of an ill-placed lace wig on some girl's head  and my brother didn't fail to enter the girl with insults. Anyway, after much chill-axing into the late night and eating to our satisfaction we decided to be on our merry way home, but not before we had taken some pictures for memorabilia sake. It was then this TRAGEDY occurred, Ghen! Ghen!, i started to assess the pictures for Instagram posting( Thank God for filters),  but why was i looking extra-large and seeing folds in the side of my tummy?, what was happening to me?!, was I becoming  the MICHELIN tyre mascot?. No way!!!, upon all the suck belle make shirt fine, my rolls were just making hits. This was when i knew something had to be done and fast, there was no way i was going to be noticed as "the FAT one" in my family GOD FORBID! it. I've had friends whom my mum referred to by their fat when trying to ask about them and their well being and i wasn't ready to become one of those kind of people to my friend's parents, NEVER!!!!!. So i took my fat by her handles and said the relationship between me and you is OVER, you must be gone!. 

TO TESTIFY OR NOT TO TESTIFY

I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always  be on my lips- Psalms of David

TO BE OR NOT TO BE " is the famous saying  to the William Shakespeare's play Hamlet. 

Well today as of our usual Sunday evening fellowship we discussed "How to abide in God's favour" and one of the things we discussed in our  number  of outlines was "Testifying", before I get into  all that lets start right from the beginning.

So sitting in fellowship really digging our discussion, contributing and feeling like a scholar, our introduction expressed that  "It is one thing to  earn divine favour and it is another to have it for keeps", which in all honesty  I believe this to be very true because some people take the favour of God for granted, especially when they've been very expectant and they receive and show no gratitude whatsoever afterwards and when it is taken away from them they begin to bind, cast, forbid and reject from Mount Everest to Kilimanjaro, blaming the devil for all their shortcomings and not knowing it is as a result of their own ingratitude that has caused  God's favour to be taken away from them. 

Start of a New Chapter- Living in the UK

I can remember vividly being a JJC and very fresh off the plane, this I can proudly and  LEGITIMATELY! say.  

Having left the Motherland so suddenly with no warnings,  I came home summer of finishing SS1,( for those in the UK I suppose that would be YR.11), beaming with excitement for the next year of secondary school,SS2, looking forward to the time of  punishing all those juniors and have them fetching my bucket loads of water to store for water strike), however those dreams came to a  sudden halt!. What was this I was hearing, one faithful night, I remembered being summoned to my mothers room and being told 

"WE ARE RELOCATING"  

Single! But Why?!

"I'm single, because I take relationships seriously!"- Lekeisha

I've come to understand through observation that we live in a society where being "Single" is no longer a normal occurrence. 

Constantly, when the topic of relationships and the phrase "Why are you not in a relationship" arises I brace myself, ready to give answers to whoever is willing to give me a tough time.

Couple of years ago, and this was a good number of years let's say 4 years when I was about 16, and I would never forget this. A friend's sister asked me "So, why are you still single?, you're so pretty". I was taken aback and in a state of utter confusion and shock. Was I not meant to be single because I was pretty? or was it mandatory that all pretty girls have boyfriends?.

   

Besides I was SIXTEEN!!! what was I doing with a boyfriend!, in the context she was putting it, kiss,hold hands,hang out. Err... I think not!, not with the mother that I have, you better be saying your last prayers if she as much as sees you feeling flirty or frisky with the opposite sex, all the 101 questions you will rather avoid,  will start flying out the door

So who is he? 

What is his name? 

Where is he from? 

Who are his parents? 

Where did you meet?  ......e.t.c 

Besides, I have my sisters and family for that, they show me enough love, affection, care and  consideration, why should I depend on the opposite sex for that at such a young age and expose myself to all the  mental and emotional drama of break-ups and heart break( ain't nobody got time for that). I  mean don't get me wrong, if individuals want to be in relationships at a young age and are mentally mature and  prepared to take up all that drama, then please go right ahead. As for me, I know it wouldn't have worked out.

Don't get me wrong, I did once date a boy but I wouldn't even classify it a "relationship" because no relations occurred, he was pretty much friend-zoned before he asked me out and because I was young and naive and not wanting to spoil the friendship and cause awkwardness, I said OK!, it was still pretty much a friendship just with a boyfriend TAG attached, so when we had to  part ways it wasn't harmful, and everything went back to us just being friends, and we still are friends. 

I HATE "Last Minute Cancellations"

Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, 'That's nice.'- Penn Jillette

So I am very tolerant 

 I am willing to tolerate a lot of things, but this is one of the many things I cannot and would not stand for. Cancel on me last minute and I promise you, you will pay for it (adjusting halo), unless you jazz my life there's no way I will stand for such shenanigans. Having said all this, let me share with you amazing people my situation and frustration. 
My friend has just come to town and surprised me with a phone call to say so, I expressed my excitement with continuous OMG's followed by uncontrollable giggles. All was well and good in the world and I couldn't be more happier because I never thought I would see this day, it was like a dream come true, the amount of times we talked about finally meeting up and how we imagined things would transpire, daydreaming through our various Skype calls and BBM chats, one step closer to  finally putting a face to a name and a voice in flesh.Phone calls later we are making plans to meet up( and this was not an impromptu meeting) it was planned days before. Bowling and a meal to catch up properly was the deal. Come Friday morning, I won't lie I was H.A.P.P.Y like that Pharrell's song, we spoke in the morning, we were to meet up today. I carried on with my daily routine in life,  nothing was going to crush this(except I was just about to be let down). Back and Forth with messages we spoke, giving directions on how to get to our meeting point, asking friend to let me know when he leaves his humble abode, all this up until 10:15am. Tick Tock goes the clock and it strikes 12:00pm, midday, getting ready to head out any time now, although not a single word heard from friend since 10:15am, surely he should have left his house since and should be in his very merry way.
Now my venting vessels have been emptied, let me return to my life in abundance. 

(or so I've been told)

I Just Don't Get It.... 

The very Beginning.....

HELLO!

Let me introduce myself,  I think that's a lyrical line... LOL!

 My name is Efemena Orife, a 20 something year old, who as far back as i can remember as  a teeny weeny lady wanted to be a "Mummy" when asked what  about i wanted to be when i grew up.

 Those were happy and carefree days. 

 So here i am sitting in my living room pondering on what to do after being let down by a certain individual at the very last minute and wanting to vent I thought wouldn't it be nice to have a conducive medium to share all my bants, rants, fitness up and downers, opinions and all my of my shenanigans. 

What makes this blog stand out from all others you may ask, well I cant tell you, you'll jut have to stick around to find out now, wouldn't you?

It'll be amazing if you  did stick around, it'll make me one happy Single Nigerian girl.

                                                                    

                                                                              XOXO

                                                                               Mena