To say I'm disheartened doesn't come close to the feeling of how quickly I became undone from my heightened excitement to ultimate disbelief staring at my laptop screen...
Let's go back to the beginning...
June 2015
After much contemplation on what to do with my life after graduation, whether to pursue a master's degree, get a full-time job or get a life experience. I came to finally settle on the idea of
a life experience, and so the journey began. The decision was made and there was no chance of convincing me otherwise. Bubbled with excitement, I went home to Nigeria to survey the land and see if it could work and on coming back home to the UK I couldn't wait to return later in the year. Everyone was on the wagon of my excitement at work and with friends and family. They were all with it, and the universe couldn't have agreed more with me.
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a life experience, and so the journey began. The decision was made and there was no chance of convincing me otherwise. Bubbled with excitement, I went home to Nigeria to survey the land and see if it could work and on coming back home to the UK I couldn't wait to return later in the year. Everyone was on the wagon of my excitement at work and with friends and family. They were all with it, and the universe couldn't have agreed more with me.
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Fast-forward...
September 2015
On the 8th of September, registration opened and being the eager beaver I am; on getting home from working the night shift, sleep had automatically wiped itself from my eyelids( looking back now, you'd think I was betting my buck for the national lottery). I immediately gathered myself with a cup of herbal goodness and began surfing the net for the official portal for the NYSC registration process. Needless to say that getting on there it was like the Hunger Games, waiting for my email verification to continue my registration was like drawing blood from a stone. In the end I eventually got there, jumping through the hurdles of everything Nigerian and obviously not so straight forward, with their added specifics of what you should upload and all the lar'dy details and documentations I clicked the 'Submit' button.
It reads ' Your application is being processed...'
09/09/2015
After much stress of running around and getting all the required documentation, it was a rather unexpected slap in my face and a somewhat painful dagger to my heart that it read
The above named person graduated from .............. University with ..... Degree in 2015 However these categories of graduates 'Part-time' have been excluded from participating in the National Youth Corps Serivice by the Federal Government with effect in 2001. In view he/she is hereby issued with a letter of exclusion
Thank you
Thank you for what exactly?! was the exact response in my mind.
For crushing my hope and dream of a life abroad?
For putting the full stop to my next step in life? ( Ok! Maybe not that deep).
But I was really looking forward to it and of course as hiding emotions isn't exactly my strong suit it shone through like dynamite
The stages of impending disbelief as to what has just happened to me took place as thus:
And then ....
Which led to...
And then
And the final stage of
A state of numbness is how I feel at this present moment. A state which I shall not quickly move on from. But in all its hurt, I'm just glad I hadn't booked my one way ticket or finalized other plans.
I guess it's back to the drawing board that is my life, with winter shopping commencing and the putting away of all my light airy clothes...
Till we meet again, next summer, if UK summertime isn't ever so kind.
Mena
XOXO
